a truth from a lier. ewan.haha

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to do more for you. With respect to money, you spend as little as possible. You think good luck might come your way, but if it does you’ll be so surprised you’ll burst out laughing. The hidden side of your personality tends to be methodical in your ways - with trouble adapting to the rules of society. You are tend to think about others’ feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked. When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you will search and search until you find your perfect match.

Who’s The True You?

Stalker mode!!

stalker ka talaga!!!………. oops mali!

stalker talaga AKO! hahaha. =)) yeah ryt! Hindi ito tungkol sa crush ko ngaun. eto ay tungkol sa PAST crush. nakoo… nung high school ko pa siya pinagnanasahan! X) hahaha. That was sooo 10 years ago. haha.joke. bata pa ako. mga 4 years ago lang.. ang yes! sabi nga ni campopot.. raging girly hormones!hahaha =)) who can’t resist a hottie?hahaha. anyway!mga classmates, wag kayo magsusumbong kay cois! tsk tsk. kaibigan niya kasi yun. alam niyo nmn na hayskul batchmate kami ni cois e..

I’m a damn stalker. yeah. nagnakaw ako ng pics sa kaibigan niya. owell, thanks kay lara. accidentally, friend ko siya sa multiply kaya mas madli gawin ang stalker mode.wahahaha. No…..!!! nagkataon lang! totoo! parang "I didn’t mean to love you ni nina" haha. hindi ko alam na friens sila noh. basta. nagnakaw ako ng pic niya. tapos.wahahaha. cge.ipapakita ko sa inyo.. at sabihin niyo kung ang cheap ba ng taste ko.haha. 

xempre yung naka-itim ang crushness ko..kasi si cois ung isa sa pic e. sana malaki pa din ang mundo para walang kaibigan niya na magsusumbong sakanya. e bakit ba? crush ko lang naman e. pasalamat siya at nabulag niya ako.wahaha. =)) at hindi niya nmn ako kilala e. sana! X)

mukha siyang intsik?. oo.. parang siomai, siopao, lumpiang shanghai, pecking duck, pati na Binondo! haha. =))

oi. kung kilala mo xa. WAG KA MAGSUSUMBONG. gulpihin kita e.. (plssssssssssss.?.hahaha) ayan. nanginginig na ako dito..pero ipopost ko pa din. watashi ako care! cge. malurkae ka sa pagsusumbong. dedma pa din akesh. :O 

Of tsamba, fools, and silent walks- inspiring. :O

Kinuha ko ito sa isang blogger din ng i.ph with a permission.nasa baba yung links. visit him! e.. eto daw ung speech sa graduation ng Ateneo high batch ‘08.. oi chucks. tama ba to? nandun ka ba? :O

ang swerte nila dahil very inspiring yung message.naku! walang ganyan samin. Laos e. Boo ust high!hahahaha. :O

nagtataka tuloy ako kung bakit may mga naging kaklase ako na galing ateneo high pero halimaw yung mga ugali.. mayabang! kabaligtaran nung dapat na down to earth na atenista.. tsk tsk. anyway hindi ko nilalahat..ung mga naging kaklase ko lang..rawr! sana balang araw maka-inspire din ako ng mga tao at makagawa ng ganito kagandang speech. :O  

Of tsamba, fools, and silent walks — Gerry Esquivel

By Gerry Esquivel

What follows is the message of Architect Gerry Esquivel to the graduates of Ateneo de Manila High School Batch 2008, delivered at the commencement exercises  on Sunday, March 30 at the AHS Covered Courts.

 

Magandang hapon sa inyo.

Bumababa na ang standards dito sa Ateneo high school. Pati ako pinagsasalita na sa commencement exercises.

Tinanong ko si Father RB kung puede makipagswap sa ibang commencement speakers. Sa Prep na lang sana  ako magsasalita.  Hindi siya sumagot…. Parang nagsesecond thoughts na yata.

It has always been my job at home to tell stories to my younger children before they go to sleep. I still do this especially to my 8 year old son. Stories about warriors. Giants. Hidden treasures.

This graduation talk is nothing really more than that, silly stories. Of Tsamba. Fools. And silent walks.

Bago ang lahat, meron lang akong aaminin sa inyo:

First. I did not graduate from Ateneo high school. Mabuti pa kayo. For whatever reason I found myself completing 4th year as an exchange student in a public school 20 miles south of Boston.

Second. While I have always bragged about my belonging to the honors class, I wasn’t a very bright student. Pagsi at one point gave me a 74 in English. Cheekee gave me a semestral grade of 72. And I barely passed Physics.

Third. High School wasn’t all fun and games for me. I was bullied and insecure.  I was nowhere near as intelligent as my classmates. 4A produced graduates from Harvard. Stanford. CalTech. I even have a classmate who hangs out with Nobel Prize winners in Economics.
 
And yet, and yet, my dear graduates, life has its own crazy way of coming full circle. Funnily enough, I find myself a non-alumnus, a mediocre student, and a loser by high school standards giving this commencement talk.

And this twist of destiny, itong biro ng tadhana, I like to call tsamba.

STOREY NO 1. TSAMBA

I asked Enzo’s friend’s  what they thought tsamba meant and they said… Luck. Swerte.

Right after high school I told Tatay of my plan to be a Jesuit. He told me “Gerry take any course in UP, the easiest course you can find."

So I decided to take a 4 year course, BS Foreign Service. Sinabihan na naman ako ng Tatay, “Gerry, mag-architecture ka na lang, magaling ka namang magdrawing.” I said yes. I found myself completing Architecture in UP, passing the board exam, and shortly right after entering Arvisu house as a pre novice. Finally, I said. My heart rests.

Shock no 1. The Jesuits wrote me a letter of rejection to Sacred Heart.  I was devastated.  I planned priesthood since high school. Pinagbigyan ko na ang Tatay, it was time I said that I pursued my own.

Lesson no 1: no matter how noble your goal in life is, it can never be a substitute for God’s Holy Will.

Reality no 1. Shattered dream. No plans. No money. My career break came in when I got a job to build a kitchen cabinet. I had no experience in construction. But my initial assignment led me to build bigger kitchen cabinets, chapels for funeral parlors, and garage renovations. Since then I have abandoned design and architecture. And after that first job, that small kitchen cabinet, I have taken on bigger and more exciting projects. To think that all this started with no experience, no plan, and no capital. Luck? Swerte? Tsamba! 

And of course the greatest tsamba of my life, Beng. She belongs to the sister class of my section. She knew all my classmates. Syempre puera ako. Di ako nagpaparty. Wala akong kotse. Wala akong magarang damit. Wala akong pera.

But one clear day, 11 years after high school, I accidentally met the most beautiful woman in my life. I fell in love.  I am sure that the best decision I have ever made, was to marry the girl of my dreams, the school girl that I should have met in high school.  Luck? Swerte? Tsamba.

At itong mga nangyari sa akin after high school, at itong mga puedeng mangyari sa inyo, tsamba ba talaga lahat ng ito. Luck? Swerte?

Tsamba I believe is about an overwhelming and powerful spirit of thanksgiving. That Tsamba is all about trusting. That tsamba is all about grace, and God’s providence.

Some of you may not have gotten in to the university of your choice, you may have worked real hard and barely made it today, you may be terrified that you still are unsure on what to do after graduation. Relax.  To all this, you must say thank you.

The world is open to those with a grateful heart. There is an infinite layer of tsambas in this world. And while some events appear to be fueled by accidents and luck, Karl Rahner put it so rightly when he said, "Accidents? … there are no accidents in our lives. Only grace."

STOREY NO 2: COMPANY OF FOOLS   

I am sure that in your 4 years of high school, you have done some pretty silly stuff. Some form of prank. Some kind of mischief that got you in trouble. And during these years you have also made fools of yourself.

Fr. Macayan would stop by EAPI on his way to the JR and talk to the trees that he planted. He would point an angry finger at the trees and tell them… "You dumbbells… why are you not growing as fast as I want you to?” He was a silly man.

But you know, my dear graduates, what is sillier and more foolish is that Fr. Macayan died a few years back alone in the Jesuit infirmary. While some of his siblings and Jesuit brothers were there, he died without family. How silly when he could have used his higher math to be an engineer and raised a family and built a career of his own.

And yet this silly and foolish man chose to live a very boring life. Teaching first year Algebra. Checking papers, Talking to trees.

I remember Pagsi. He was always so engrossed with his story telling. While reading to us the story, The Most Dangerous Game, he was like an actor auditioning out for a play. His saliva spurting all over. But what is sillier and foolish is that I remember visiting him in his house when I was in first year as I visit him now.  He still lives in the same house along Esteban Abada. No major improvement. No major expansion. Walang ganoong pagbabago. And yet Pagsi has taught Presidents of companies, corporate leaders, movers and shakers. I am sure he does not mind. He is happy with his work, happy with his boys, and at peace to be a founding member of God’s army of fools.

Let me now share stories of silliness after high school.

For the last three years, Enzo and I would visit my carpenters in a squatter’s area on Christmas day. Medyo off yung timing because it’s the day when then there is much revelry, gifts, visitors, when there is food and drinks in abundance in our home. There we would drink beer and eat tilapya with them and they would tell Enzo their own kwentos. I am not sure what this does to my men. Not too sure what this does to Enzo. All I know is that the timing is off, the schedule is tight,  and the activity is rather silly.

I was skimming through scripture, when I read a verse about feeding the hungry. Clothing the naked. And visiting those in prison. Right there after closing the Bible, without thinking, (which I often do), I immediately called the Jesuit chaplain in New Bilibid Prison and asked him if I can visit him the following day.

In that meeting I decided to finish the chapel in the minimum security area. It took me close to 2 years to finish. But before I left that first visit, Fr. Willy toured me around. ( Let me share a side side story) And there tugging along our tour was a man that kept asking how I was. Nabigla ako ng tanungin niya ako…. Kamusta na po si Enzo? Si Ina? Si Ma’am Beng?

Patay.

"Sino ka?"
" Driver po niyo ako."
"Bakit ka naman nandito?"
"Carnapping po."

Young men, there are 16,000 inmates in New Bilibid Prison.  I was Bombay’s first visitor. Silly and foolish stories. 

I have made several trips to Payatas. Not so much to fix a school in Payatas 13. To reflect. To ground myself.  To stand on a hill.

There I met Josebeth. An 11 year old who lives in Samar.  Nagbabakasyon daw siya sa Payatas. Kasi nanduon ang kanyang pamilya. 

I asked her what she wanted. “ Wala po. Ok ako dito.” Her direction was clear. Nothing distracts her. All that she wishes  is to be with family. No wish of toys, clothes, or special food.  Such a silly and foolish girl.

My dear graduates. Please. Do not think that I ask you now to drop all your dreams. Join the Jesuits, join an NGO and be amongst the poorest of the poor. No. No my dear graduates. This is not what I wish to say.

Dream. Be happy. Live. Excel. Express. Tell the world who you are and who you can be. Profit from this world.

Create a life deserving of your visions. There must be no boundaries to your dreams. There must only be drive. Direction. Desire. You must be hungry to achieve. To commit to nothing else but the very top. To try.

All that I wish to share with you today is that together with the drive, direction, and desire is that you sprinkle your journeys with tiny moments of silliness and foolishness. To reach. To share. To give. To find it in yourself  the foolish thing that makes you true.  And while your journeys take you to the glamour of business and profession, find time to bask, to sun bathe and spread your arms wide enough to dance and sing to the beautiful music of fools.

STOREY NO 3.  SILENT WALKS

I visited Father Joey Fermin in Medical City and asked permission if I could share this story with you.  He said yes.

I am sure that all of you know that he is ill.  Fr. Joey went out for a walk inside campus. His best friend Fr. Aydee Dacanay accompanied him. They went around the Ateneo grounds for close to 40 minutes. But what is interesting is that they returned to the Jesuit Residence after that long walk without uttering a word to each other. They didn’t talk.

But I am very sure that Fr. Aydee wanted to tell Fr. Joey that he was praying for his recovery, that all would be well in the end, and that should he need anything, he would always be there for him.

I am also very sure that Fr. Joey wanted to tell Fr. Aydee that yes, I really need your prayers and support; that I am scared and unsure of this illness, and that I appreciate you taking this walk with me when I know you may have some concerns of your own.

And why do I share this with you? Because there may be some similarity with this story and our journeys together, you as adolescent sons and us your parents. That there may be moments when we will both take these long and silent walks. When it is unclear whose pace we follow, yours or ours. When there is only respect, and love shown in every step. When words cannot capture that which we both feel inside.

Like Fr. Joey’s and Fr. Aydee’s long and quiet walk, we will all need to return to our own JR.

But remember that the Jesuit Residence is not a place to return to but a quiet corner in your heart tucked away where the noise of this world cannot reach. Siguradong hindi kayo lahat magkakasama-sama sa college. Iba iba ang inyong pupuntahan. And during those years, the phone calls will lessen, the text messages will not be as frequent, and you may have developed some new friendships of your own. There will be silence and long walks. You must return. To the 4 years of friendship, the victories in band competitions, the exciting dates you had together, the defeats in intramurals, the first taste of beer. The fun. The laughter. The friendships you will take forever.

You must also return  to your mentors. Those who formed you these high schools years. These silly Jesuits. Your foolish teachers. They who taught you everything they knew. And not held back. Whose only desire is to produce brave men that will pay forward the luxury of a solid education.

After several years, when you have built your empires, you MUST return to the ATENEO. And I advise you to physically take these long and quiet walks. By yourself. Or with your best friend. And recall the steps you freely took before and realize that your deepest desire really and without doubt is to be the high school student you once were. Excited. Full of life. Idealistic and free.

I visited Fr. Macayan 3 times before he passed away. I shared stories with him even if he can hardly talk. I told him, “Father, si Gerry Esquivel ito. Estudyante niyo sa Algebra.” He was weak and could not respond. “Fr. Si Gerry ito kaklase ni John at ni Patrick.” His eyes lit up and murmured. “Yes. John. Patrick.”

I left JR feeling a little bad. My Algebra teacher did not recognize me. He did not remember me. But then I realized that it was not so important that he failed to remember me but what is more important, I remembered him.

Congratulations young men. This is your moment of glory. Throw your cares into the wind. Do something really silly today. Approach the teacher that gave you your lowest grade. Sabihin mo sa kanya, "Babalikan kita Ma’am. Babalikan kita sir.” Not out of spite or revenge but out of deep gratitude for keeping you awake at night studying. Go to Fr. RB and the Jesuits. Magyabang kayo. Sabihin niyo sa kanila  “Father, pag successful na ako sabihin mo sa akin kung ano ang puede kong ibalik sa High School.”  Yabangan niyo sila. Shake hands and greet all your batchmates. Especially those whom you hardly know. Those that you have not talked to.  Sabihin niyo sa kanila, "Pare…. Congrats…KitaKits.” Because today, after this graduation there will no longer be a 4A. 4B. Or 4C. Today, your badge of honor will be, “Atenista ako! High school batch 2008.”

Magbarberohan kayo sa isa’t isa. Last few days to see each other. Sabihin ninyo …. “Pare, pag doctor na ako…gagamutin ko kayo. Pare. Pag abogado na ako…ipagtatanggol ko kayo. Pare. Pag arkitekto na ako….idedesign ko kayo ng magarang bahay. Pare pag film director na ako….gagawin ko kayong artista.   Pare pag Heswita na ako…..  ipagdarasal ko kayo palagi…  Pucha Pare, kahit ano man ang mangyari…. Magkaibigan tayo.”

Good luck to all. It’s your turn to weave your own foolish stories. Pakitandaan lang ninyo…. Na kahit ano mang paikot-ikot ng kwento ng buhay ninyo, ano mang akyat at baba…. Ay di kayo maaring makaalpas sa higpit ng yapos ng ating Panginoon.

I end with a parent’s blessing to you.

“Humayo kayo. We release you from being a child. From being within easy reach of our tight embrace. We will watch you from afar. We will hide our tears when we see you fail. We will share our smile when we see you prevail. All that we ask, is that you take these walks with us. It may be silent. But God will allow us to savor it… because it is in silence that we hear God the most.”

Congratulations. Hanggang dulo. Habang buhay. Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.

Dream.. believe?survive?hahaha. starstruck! :O

It’s from a blogger na nakakatuwa ang blog. from playboy articles to socialites like celine lopez and to gay stuffs!haha. Come on and VISIT:

Click me

when his heart belongs to somebody else, how would you deal with it?

Falling-keahiwai

napansin ko lang na halos lahat pala ng lalaki na napadaan sa lab story ng buhay ko ay may nakaraan. :O ang laging setting? : bigo si lalaki sa dati niyang pag-ibig..at aun, dumadating ako..(na isang bigo din pala.)hahaha. :O 

medyo mahirap ayusin ang nasira sakanya(no particular person to, for everyone to?haha),. oO, mahirap marining yung mga bagay na tungkol sa nakaraan ng isang tao.. lalo na pag nararamdaman mo na may bahid ng lungkot. maiisip mo kasi na hindi ka pa pala panalo. :O madami ka pang bigas na kakainin bago siya mapasa’yo. :O naku. pinaka mahirap nung year ‘06.unang subok ko sa pagkuha ng pag-ibig ng iba.(oi hindi third party hah! parehas kaming single nun!) :O mahirap talaga..iisipin mo kung dapat bang ipagpatuloy..kung may patutunguhan nga ba?.. nakakainis pero kaunting sipag lang, makukuha mo din yan. sipag at tyaga para may nilaga! :

 I wanna tell you baby
that you’re the one I’m thinking of
BUT your heart is still with  her
 and I think she’s the one that you love..

pero kapag hindi mo na talaga kaya. palayain mo na,,, baka hindi talaga pwede e. ikaw din ang kawawa,.

Only time would tell

the mystery has yet to unfold 

Who’s gonna feel love’s warmth
And the other left in the cold

pero sa mga napagdaanan ko naman,. nakuha ko naman ang puso nila.. tinopak nga lang ako kaya hindi din natuloy.. kaya naisip ko na dapat sanay na ako sa pagkakaroon ng gusto sa isang tao na broken hearted. :I bakit ko nga ba napag-usapan to. hmmm…

oo, may crush ako. :O as always.. well,. medjo matagal na din to.. hindi lang ako nagkkwento. :O ehh.. basta broken hearted xa..sa wala! e wala nmn nangyare e.nanligaw lang xa at busted xa. un na un. kawawang nilalang. e nung mga feb. ko lang yta xa nakilala e.bsta sa school..habang humihikab ako ng malaki e nakangiti siya sakin. :O tapos kinukulit ko na xa nun..kasi tahimik xa.haha. ayan nanaman ako..na charm sa tahimik.. :O nagkakwentuhan lang kaming mabuti nung last day na. kamusta nmn diba?! huling huli.. sabi ko nga. mahilig ako sa summer love! :O e aun, ang hirap magkwento kapag alam ng mga kaibigan mo yung blog mo.. lalo na ung mga classmate mo. (ehem madel,vian,cam,..c kigi na den.baka nagbabasa xa e) 

ahh basta.. natutuwa ako kasi hindi siya mayabang. kahit consistent dean’s lister pala siya ng batch namin. hai! ibig sabihin mas mataas sa 1.75 ang gen. ave niya… aun, pakopya!haha. :O natuwa ako. tsaka mabait xa. :O

sino siya?sino siya? hindi ko sasabihin….. secret. 

oops pala. hindi ko siya "like like" ha.. crush lang. :O admire,. ganun.  naisip ko lang kasi na baka pag nagustuhan ko siya. problemahin ko ung dati niya. No way no! auko nga maging takip sa butas.. :O

may boypren na ako?! 0_o..

haha. yeah yeah. may boypren na pala ako. 

teka. bakit mo ako inaangkin?! kinuha mo nga lang ako sa ligaw tingin e!

hahaha. para sa aking new boypren na 5 years old(estimated).haha. :O 

ou.bata pa xa. o kung matangkad lang xa baka 4 lang xa.haha. ang pedophile ko.? gaano ko ba talaga iniidolo si vicky belo and hayden Go?haha. hihintayin ko na lang ba yung batang yun? YAKS!

Pero actually. U.B.E(ultimate bonding experience) time namin nila mama.. so nag ballroom lesson kami.haha.kamusta naman ang balakang ko ngaun! mas challenging pa keysa sa p.e. namin na social dance.. it takes a lot of bending! nagkanda bali-bali na nga buto ko e.. worst, natanggalan na yata ako ng buto. :O

buto’t kalansay, tabi-tabi po sa bangkay…lulubog lilitaw…and i dunno.

-i miss magic temple!super humahanga ako nung napanood ko un e…bata pa ako..sabi ko "cool!" at nalaman ko na un pala nagsimula si anne curtis. huwaw! 

kamusta naman yun, with my mom na parehas kaliwa ang paa! totoo… she’s very good at cooking, pananahi, and stuffs.pero dancing? wag na uy!.. pero yung tatay ko magaling magsayaw. buti na lang medjo half-half ako. hindi ako magaling at hindi din ako kawawa sa isang bagay. :O  so. . normal lang. ang saya. feeling ko nga e naubos ang taba sa katawan ko. 3 hours ka nagsasayaw e! hai. cha-cha-cha,tango,jive,samba,mambo! ang dami. ang pinaka naenjoy ko.. TANGO! ang saya,subra!haha. :O kaya kau, makipag U.B.E na din kaya kau sa mommy niyo. e pag break dance niyo kaya mga mommy niyo? :O

nakakatawa talaga yung bata. inperness, gwapo xa.haha.tsinito e. hihintayin ko na nga lang xa.haha. go Belo! :O baka nga 4 lang xa.bulol pa e.. "mama, kita ko na gerlpren ko. ayun ohh.. yung haba hair. danda ohh. ." hahaha (cge!daanin natin sa buhok yan.)  tapos pinapalapit sakin..shy type ba naman. ayaw magpakita.lakas kumapit sa nanay. naku. torpe pa!tsk tsk. problema un.hahaha :O